Category Archives: India

"Instead of developing technology to counter terror, India is looking at the easy way out by blacking out blackberry"

India has been famous or rather infamous for making non-issues into serious controversies and the latest being the Blackberry case. Being the world’s fastest growing IT power, India has busied itself in the realms of deciphering the mails sent via the Blackberry network rather than developing reliable technology to take-on terrorism which in turn, is making full use of the resources available to them, including technology. A classic example can be the Jaipur blasts culprits sending videos of targeted police stations to the media.

Even when the tragedy has struck as recent as a less than a fortnight ago in Jaipur, India is busy redrawing sketches of the accused rather than focusing all energies on developing speedy and fool-proof technology to minimize the attacks.

In the pretext of safety, India still hasn’t managed to seal its airports completely to the terrorists’ threats. With airports being primary and most vulnerable areas of strike, a greater use of technology is required. Terror groups all around the globe are making use of Liquid Explosives (LE) which need special technology to be detected, but India is still oblivious to the fact and continues to maintain a straight face. The methods of making these LEs are readily available on the internet, through legitimate sources as well. With countries like Japan and other European nations deploying the latest technology available to detect these LEs, we still wait for cows to come home. According to the the US National Counter terrorism Centre, India has lost close to 3,800 lives due to terrorist attacks.

It will be interesting to see the role of the Indian government as to how they employ technology to counter terrorism in India. With reports like China hacking into the governmental websites and the government being clueless about it just draws our attention towards the apathy of the Indian government towards the use of better technology. Recently, an Indian embassy’s website was hacked by a layman just to prove the lax in India’s security. The man made a point but India did not bother to correct the mistake, and is instead making life of Research in Motion (RIM) difficult as she believes that all the terrorists are using Blackberry to send emails and a stricter monitoring of the servers are required, more than anything else.

What she fails to realise is that developing this technology will not only help in securing lives of her citizens, but will also be highly useful for public health, law enforcement, or general intelligence purposes.

It is true that the most important contribution of science and technology to curb terrorism is in respect to communications. But clinging on to Blackberry and its transferring its servers to India is no solution to the problem. We need to be mature enough to understand the gravity of the situation and act in a manner which is harmful to the terrorists and not anyone else.

"I need my burger," says America

White America, We love you!

We all know that our favorite America needs someone or the other to blame to put their rusting weapons and army to use for their good. Afghanistan, Iraq, kinda South Korea (still trying though!), Iran, and then list will continue until the cows come home. However, there has been a recent entry into this honorable list, a country which hasn’t attacked forget ruled for over 2000 years, a country so peaceful that more than a billion kill each other everyday leave alone the time to conspire against anyone else, a place so serene and beautiful that selling masks and setting up a medicine factory will easily make you richer than Warren Buffet, Lakshmi Mittal, Ambani Bros, Bill Gates’ entire wealth put together – India.

I heard Condoleeza “Rice” saying that the food shortage faced by the world is due to India, yes, India. The reason? Our population is expanding at such a disastrous rate that we are cutting down on our exports of food products leaving the poor kids of the western world hungry for their burgers and pizzas. Hmm… pretty interesting. Now imagine a scenario where America will announce a war against India for stocking up food items for its own people and not letting America feed its poeple. Bush might make this ultra secret speech of his public in coming days of which I have smuggled a copy, “This is a direct infringement of the rights of the Americans, the first citizens of the world, for food. Its us who have the first right over any food item and oil, both cooking and burning in this world. If any country tries to feed its own people and not America, I, inedible Bush, on behalf of the greatest sucker on the ass of this planet will wage a war. A war for the freedom of food that deserves to be eaten by us, a war for the rightfully hungry cattle of the western world and a war for setting things wrong from right.”

So all my fellow Indians, remember that its America’s cattle who needs our maize and wheat more than our poor. It is our customary duty to bow to them and feed them with open hands and clean their shit. As we haven’t learnt to make right right, don’t be surprised if the Indian ass-licking govt tomorrow actually goes on to say that due to the pressures from the western world and to maintain the inflow of FDI into the country so that we could prosper and our economy could grow at 9 percent every year, we have decided to continue the food exports to America and other western countries at prices lower than the minimum wage a laborer gets in India.

HOLI DAY!!!!!

We Indians have an amazing knack of turning deaf to issues suddenly. It is like turning on the lights or turning off, in a snap, just like that, click, kaboom, puff and gone! And we may be scaling new heights everyday in people might say and defend the fact that we are a hardworking lot and intelligent then rest of the world but whenever the talk of productivity comes, we all turn deaf ears, in a flash. “huh, product what?” this is the most common response to the topic of maximizing work.

Being one of the fastest growing economies in the world, I wonder how do we actually manage that given the magnum options of holidays we have at our hands ever month! I purposely did not mention ‘year’ as I am sure that half of the world might faint looking at the numbers! The entire bunch of holidays they get in their lifetime, we get per year.

Its Holi time and Gawd arent we happy? More than the festival, we, Indians are happy for the fact that three holidays have come together and we can enjoy an over extended weekend. From Thursday to Sunday, its like Christmas for the western world! Holidays holidays and more holidays! What is more amusing that after such a long hiatus we still will say on Monday morning, “God, I dont like to work on Mondays… these Monday morning blues.”

Gosh, do we ever like to work? Ever? I think a bigger mystery than solving the complexities of the details of 123 nuclear deal or the Ram Setu row is how we Indians manage to grow our GDP by around 9 percent year after year when we have a millions distractions to our work. 370 days in a year our team alone is playing International Cricket and boy, its ok if we lose our job but missing a Cricket match is surely a strict taboo! No matter what,we cant do that.

I am sure in the coming times, some uselessly employed Indian will definitely file a PIL in the Supreme Court saying to put a ban on all the work happening in India as it distracts us from taking the holidays we are entitled to and hinders us from watching the Cricket! Loss of productivity will be due to working at office and the productivity is the ability to take offs and watching Cricket.

PS: I love Holi, have nothing against it and even used to celebrate till two years back. So, please dont plot to kill me that i wrote against the concept of so many holidays!!

Taking stocks from the situation

Move over birds and bees as the bull and the bear are here! I bet that this is one topic people are talking about everywhere, adding some sense to the sex – the sensex! My knowledge of the stock market is not very deep-rooted and hence the terms like bear market and bull market actually amuses to the extent that I tried to search for their origin on the internet but alas, couldn’t find any 😦

Anyways, I think this issue can take a back seat for a few days and a much larger issue has to be taken note of – the nose diving markets all over the world. It is funny how America knowingly or unknowingly control the world. Either through the muscle or by using the dollar, its America all the way. I will give you an example from the world best seller ‘Shantaram’ which according to me fits this current situation to the T. Remember the lines where Lin comes to know that just for him to enjoy his hot water bathe twice a day, men have to carry bucket full of water on their shoulders to the tank situated on top of India Guest House? Lin feels ashamed of himself that just because of his indulgence and luxurious demand someone has to toil hard in the sun to the extent that he decides to stop his hot water bath. Precisely at this moment, Prabhakar shows him to other side of the coin. The side, grimmer and darker than a night without moon, he tells Lin that just because he wants to have a hot water bath twice a day, the man is able to earn some money by filling the tank everyday. So instead of stopping the indulgence, he should have more of those bathes as that burns the stove in the man’s home.

Now, to me this example fits perfectly to what is happening in the world economy. America is Lin and we all are those men who fill the tanks with hot water and survive on the earning. The point to be made is that there was a time when Lin left the guest house and the man must have been jobless till someone else filled Lin’s shoes. This time has come for America. We, India, must overthrow the Lin and take control of the situation rather than living on the mercy like rest of the world. It is strange to see how the world markets react to the rate cut in the US.

I mean, even if the slightest of problems cloud upon the US, we feel the jitters like its a butterfly effect of some sorts. Making sense out of the Sensex should be our top priority and overthrowing the US in terms of markets, both sensex and sex should be addressed with a certain degree of seriousness.

Till then, happy trying 😉

When opposites are attracted, Musharraf is distracted

After a long hiatus, Pakistan finally woke up to a new day. It wouldnt be wrong if we say that the country has got a new lease of life. Or is it too early for the statement? Whichever way the tables turn, things wont get better in Pakistan. A spoilt brat has a stage to be corrected after which it is doomed for life. And Pakistan has entered the doom stage. After more than 50 years of independence, the country is still plagued by issues like the military rule and the installation of democracy, with its economy crumbling, its not long before we will witness a great fall of a not-so-great nation. From military rule to supporting terrorism, Pakistan has favoured everything the world has opposed and now they are beginning to reap what they sowed.
I somehow feel that the most memorable events in Musharrafs life would be when he came to India for the Agra summit and fulfilled the wish of his wife, like every others, to visit the Taj Mahal! Otherwise this wouldnt have been possible and overthrowing Nawaz Sharif could be triggered by his wife’s constant nagging for a visit to the monument of love! Of all the time he spent as the dictator and now as a dictator-in-disguise, the visit to Agra was his most memorable.
I believe Musharraf is a far-sighted man as from the airplane he was in during his arrest drama a few years ago, he managed to see the chain of events taking place in Pakistan against him and played his cards to offering to buy his ancestral home in India during his visit. He knew that one day he will be thrown out of his own country like he pushed Sharif out like many others. His fate was sealed that very day and he knew it. I appreciate the Indian government for not bowing th Musharraf and not handling him the property. Although we Indians are very famous for o ur friendly gestures to even our enemies, I wonder how that time we succumbed to sanity?

Anyways, it is turning out to be good for India and Pakistan at the moment and Pakistan is creating another milestone in history of the world. I dont think anyone h as ever seen two political parties, one sitting in Opposition in the parliament actually joined hands after the muckracking elections to form a coalition government! Imagine the election scene – trying to win a seat over other and at the end joining hands with the same party!

Well, anything is possible in Pakistan, anything. Future of Musharraf is sealed in the hands of Sharif and I dont think that he will forget what Mush did to him. Revenge is second name to Pakistan and a paki politican is worst than an Osama. May God’s grace be on Mush and he may exit soon.

WHY AM I NOT A CRICKETER?

To read this story I would seriously recommend you to first understand the money cricketers and people associated with the game are making. I know everyone of us want to be cricketers especially after the IPL fiasco! Alas, we are not the lucky ones. Read on as a consolation…

Ever since the commercialisation of the game, I feel, why I am not a cricketer? I mean, WHY? WHY GOD WHY? Oops… I forgot, I am an athiest!
You know this is what India can do to you. Everyone around you in so engrossed in prayers and the love-for-God that even the non-believers are tend to think their way. As we all know that “Hey Bhagwan” is the most loved words of Indians. People who dont believe in the supernatural power are looked down as monkeys [no offence to my fellow Australian dude who managed the second highest bid :)].
Getting back to the main issue – Cricket. The main question which my otherwise non-functional mind is throwing up – How are the bidders going to recover the money? Dont they think that they money spent is just too much to be recovered or even converted into profits in such a short duration?
I guess all these questions are dancing in my mind due to the fact that I, the average Indian Cricket fan, an ex-aspiring cricketer wont benefit in any way possible. We are only left to cry because as such the cricket calendar is packed for the entire lifetime, where is the time to track every match? And now we have the IPL.
I seriously feel that the Indian Eye Doctor Association should file a PIL against the BCCI taking in consideration the long term affects of watching TV non-stop.
Also, the Indian Workers Productivity Association should work a bit and file a PIL too for the loss of productivity that will in the long run and also, according to my erroneous calculations, in the short term too, will affect the productivity.
I see only one positivity in this entire concept! India which is getting divided on the politics of regionalism will get some relief. Imagine a Gujarati playing for Mohali team and a Chattisgarhi playing for Chennai! We have to wait and watch who the people will support and the pattern of the supporters. Will they still stick to regionalism or will they cheer for their favourite star?

Time will tell, and until that, I ll try to find answers to the question that why I am not a cricketer?

SHUBHASHISH

India does it again!

Well, what reaches the apex, comes down too! The Indian cricket team’s moment to create history in Down Under has been damaged without batting an eyelid. They lost and how! The match is still on but we are nine down for a paltry 159 and the question arises is whether we ll be able to reach our previous inning’s score of 196 or no? Oh Gosh! they are all out for 161!!

We have done it again!

One of the biggest flaws in this Indian team is the pace attack. I mean, you cannot afford to go to Australia with pacers who can’t bowl a tad more than 135 km/hr. I think this is the slowest bowled by Brett Lee. Anil Kumble can bowl faster than that I bet. So what is the problem with this team? After two stupendous series it is back to square one. Null, zero, blob, full-moon and million more adjectives to their names.

Harbhajan Singh, in an interview in yesterdays paper said that this target is gettable and we ll do it! Well, not impressive with the bowl and lets just forget how he gave away his wicket to the Aussies on the Indian Kebab platter.

The game is over and the post match analysis is underway. But for what? Analysis of what? Its out of my comprehension.

We are a bunch of guys who amidst themselves are the strongest team and individuals and stats to beat the world, but, in reality, we are just overrated flock of birds who fly at the slightest hint of fight.

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