White America, We love you!
We all know that our favorite America needs someone or the other to blame to put their rusting weapons and army to use for their good. Afghanistan, Iraq, kinda South Korea (still trying though!), Iran, and then list will continue until the cows come home. However, there has been a recent entry into this honorable list, a country which hasn’t attacked forget ruled for over 2000 years, a country so peaceful that more than a billion kill each other everyday leave alone the time to conspire against anyone else, a place so serene and beautiful that selling masks and setting up a medicine factory will easily make you richer than Warren Buffet, Lakshmi Mittal, Ambani Bros, Bill Gates’ entire wealth put together – India.
I heard Condoleeza “Rice” saying that the food shortage faced by the world is due to India, yes, India. The reason? Our population is expanding at such a disastrous rate that we are cutting down on our exports of food products leaving the poor kids of the western world hungry for their burgers and pizzas. Hmm… pretty interesting. Now imagine a scenario where America will announce a war against India for stocking up food items for its own people and not letting America feed its poeple. Bush might make this ultra secret speech of his public in coming days of which I have smuggled a copy, “This is a direct infringement of the rights of the Americans, the first citizens of the world, for food. Its us who have the first right over any food item and oil, both cooking and burning in this world. If any country tries to feed its own people and not America, I, inedible Bush, on behalf of the greatest sucker on the ass of this planet will wage a war. A war for the freedom of food that deserves to be eaten by us, a war for the rightfully hungry cattle of the western world and a war for setting things wrong from right.”
So all my fellow Indians, remember that its America’s cattle who needs our maize and wheat more than our poor. It is our customary duty to bow to them and feed them with open hands and clean their shit. As we haven’t learnt to make right right, don’t be surprised if the Indian ass-licking govt tomorrow actually goes on to say that due to the pressures from the western world and to maintain the inflow of FDI into the country so that we could prosper and our economy could grow at 9 percent every year, we have decided to continue the food exports to America and other western countries at prices lower than the minimum wage a laborer gets in India.